Foreboding Joy

Another year of not being able to celebrate Halloween.

4th year in a row.

At this point, I`m just going to stop celebrating anything until I have people that genuinely want to be in my presence.

Didn`t even watch Scary Godmother like I planned to. Didn`t even decorate. Oh well. I was gonna go as the Headless Horseman or maybe the Reaper. Hell maybe even Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad)

But had to adult. Lease ended literally ON Halloween. Working on relationships in my life, income, and just trying to mentally survive. Living paycheck to paycheck, driving 30 miles almost every day, no income to enjoy myself thank to bills and fines. And at this point ready to BECOME a ghost.

It would`ve been nice to hang out with some friends. If I even have any. No one invited me out to anything. So should I even call them friends?

I like my solitude, but not EVERY day.